Tuesday, June 28, 2005

you're nothing but a deck of cards...

The Strength Card
You are the Strength card. Strength occurs when we
are able to work with our primal instincts. In
Aleister Crowley's Book of Thoth, this card is
called Lust. Lust can be thought of as the
source of our inner power. Our desires, when
firmly held, provide us with the energy and
direction we need to achieve our goals.
Strength relates to the practice of magick.
Magick is the ability to use the will to alter
reality in some way. In the strength card, we
see a woman, by way of her gentleness and will,
tame a wild lion. Her own inner capabilities
have enabled her to perform this magickal feat.
This is the kind of spiritual or primal
strength that is indicated by this card. Image
from The Stone Tarot deck.

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by

Monday, June 27, 2005


just now we walked. lola and me. there's a special hush. in the light it's another hush. this is dark still. toe tugging air that breaches. a gasp above ear. i defy you hair to rise (rises!). i defy you hair any higher (higher! higher!). trees headstand from such spook. then snuffed. so. quiet. but me scuffing (sudden shudder). lo panting (volt passing leashways). again lifting. and chimes (neck nape).

one block all sepia but for blue tarp. alive! and breath wrung settling. i come upon the door as someone closes it. the ass-bucking lope of the slender cat. back-looking. thirst. tongues taste of depressor.

red in the hall. snow-shoed window wire. derelict jailhouse and the iron smell. the cottonwood. the dark yawn.

all eyes she stops to ask why i lag. goo'girl. because i've slowed. reciting the scare.

Sunday, June 26, 2005


listened to jeff buckley's grace over and over last night. it seemed appropriate.

we went for a walk. moony. on the return the carriage house was golden. two italian cypress staggered behind. silver. that was a sight.

found some more vintage fabric in the shed of my forebears. orange! and some strange seersucker. what will it become? dunno.

been felting old cashmere. i want to make a blanket. alrighty. a blanky. the soft is a factor.

the mimosa is blooming. wasps are sizzling. i waxed sigrid the volvo and found i love the smell of carnuba. yes!

now listening: la mer opale-- coralie clement.

Friday, June 24, 2005


we walked by the lilac house in the dark. the retriever that lives there was not pleased. came charging out barking. full volume. the worst attack animal on record. it spun in circles. barking. and the circle tightened. and the barking didn't slack. could have robbed his mammy ten times over. instead i stood in the street paralyzed with laughter. doubled. until the sister tugged me away. also laughing.

washing the car this evening and the starlings crowded around. thirsty. a cat had one and i gave chase. if starlings are shrill otherwise. well. vomitted from fear. i removed the matter. let it go behind the shed. flew away.

movies from the library. to kill a mockingbird makes me bawl. watched something chikamatsu. not the love suicides but something tragic anyway. he kissed her ankle. that was remarkable. holding hands until the crucifixion. and moulin rouge because i like musicals. i really do.

now listening: dirty dream #2-- belle and sebastian

folding dinosaurs is luverly. luverly!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

little pitchers...

i overheard something. he said the thing between my legs is not an instrument of instruction, you know. it's an instrument of destruction. at which point became quiet. this is why i should wear a bell around my neck. clearly. big bell.

the father visited and i gave him a seri bird. he liked mine and i'd found another so. but what sort of bird remains unknown. i think quail. but skinny quail. he gave us two bottles of red wine. and some melon seeds.

yesterday a man was telling a group of children that they were being spied upon. he said the squirrels wore cameras on their heads. spy eyes also in the trees. in shrubs too. it was a preventitive measure as i understand it. but i'm not comfortable with cameraed spy squirrels. not at all. so i whistled and walked on.

well. i'm so sleepy the letters swim.


Friday, June 17, 2005

week in review...

a blur really. a heron extending above the windscreen. one sunrise so orange. yet another oranger. the girl who said orange doesn't make you feel anything must have been absent. piano casters. casters die. levi-strauss on the down and out. and again accidentally this evening. every spare moment finds me folding. masu box. becoming scraps. dali box. bird box. woodblock box. dreams about the dying request of my friend the biker. i sing songs in a milliner's bonnet. the offensive teal gown. i drift to the rafters. a man with an arresting gaze. windows. heart melting rise outside. amphitheater. and another night rusted birdcages. a machine for graphing functions. bird base. preliminary base. besides dreamt catalogs arrived. amorphophallus titanum. and three vintage cashmere cardigans. $1.25! uncovered the old postcard: formosa. i miss the man that wrote. my lovely mongchee paper says: art is human activit the transmission to other and best feeling to whic art is human activity h the transmission to other of t and best feeling to which we have. 501 spanish verbs fully conjugated. all the tenses. that's time again and again and again. never think of it so. but really it's so. finger jade. in the dark some little emo clad with a zombie stride. he i said. she she said. it was. moving a bookshelf the baby's mother goose fell off. coverless. how well i remember sippity sup. bread and milk from a china cup. carrot-headed baby. and i removed the eyes miss muffet abused with ric-rac. also bo-peep eyes and the sayer of i love little pussy. eloise wilkin is on or off. laserbeam gazing children of the corn. it had to be stopped. swallows at sunset. orangey oranger sunset.

and now for something entirely different...

it's really cold in the house right now. colder outside i guess. something i love about california summer. that and the relative lack of humidity. and many other things besides.

something funny. in the next room they thought i'd really misplaced it. i was making noise. mostly laughing. but what's up with the lack of caps there e.e.shrimpings?

s.b. is having a vidiot-fest with three playstations. not here. but he phoned to tell about it. three playstations. and as many t.v.s. and three fellas. two televisions for games and one for mr.show. i suppose that means one playstation is auxiliary. my maths are astounding.

time for shut eye.

Sunday, June 12, 2005


one of the pianos found a new home today. there have been two for quite some time. my piano and the other. saturation.

watched unforgiven with the sister and s.b. last night. now i finally understand in unforgiven he was totally mean/ but when he got his you really felt for gene....

had a dream that willie was on the ranch. yelping. i ran out to see what's. when i arrived (in the dark) could see silver ellipsing trails of light. swirling along through grass. i shouted for the sister but as she approached the silver ellipsing trails became hundreds of midnight deer.

some of my aloes have been touched by the sun. in a bad way. the place where they sit outside hasn't quite enough tree.

in other news...

just now the brother asked what that sound was. i dunno. sounds like a sitar. but he thought i said centaur. because apparently i know what those sound like.

i made crappy risotto for supper. it was quickly dubbed "beefsotto" for its unusual taste. by "unusual" i mean really bad. like a young calf slipped and fell in. and died horribly. and haunted my rice. here's the scary part: it was chicken risotto. oh dear....

now to end this post on a happier note. happy birthday, ranjit! on my coast you still have seven minutes of birthday time! whooot! look for something packagey on the horizon. yay!

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

please stand by...

another reason to adore him.

happy birthday, kirse!

hope you have a great day! happy happy happy!

hmm. should you expect a package? i dunno. shouldya? shouldya? heeeeeeee!

i hope your exam went well!

Monday, June 06, 2005


pardon the break in posting. the squirrel army needed a dust you know. quite an undertaking and i'm still not finished. but i'm having a coffee break now.

so. first order. the mail! today was such a nice mail day! a wonderful package from bristol. so thoughtful. so kind. i can't wait to make dinosaurs! yay! thank you so much you kind kind toast loving couple from the isles. i will photograph the results.

also in the mail: a letter with a p.s. including who...kitty-chan who! hooray! this letter arrived first and thrilled me. made my day even. only a lime-colored sand flea can make my day in such a fashion.

also in friday's mail: what?! postcards from yamslugs?! i had no idea they could use a home computer. or a camera. but maybe it wasn't a yamslug at all. maybe young samson did it. he seems quite clever. what a happy girl these postcards made me. huzzah!

what else came in the mail? bills. i don't know who this bill is but i sure wish his mail would stop coming to my box. oh and dmv sent me a love note requiring me to send them a small fortune. ghastly business.

i spent a large portion of my weekend under the sink where the dish sponge lives. it's really an unpleasant realm. spores. there was a leak. the weather is warm. do the math. but i had to crawl in there on my belly and paint the new baseboards. i had a view of my kitchen sink i'd previously never taken in. somehow less than scenic. 's okay. now things smell painty.

my auntie donated a very nice table to my cause. which cause being: mare-needs-a-new-table cause. it is solid and oak. no partical board here matey. but if i happen to drop it on my toe that will be the end of my fluid stride. heh. anyway i had to sand the tabletop. over and over. electric sander. i feel bad that i probably sullied a large chunk of my neighbors' otherwise relaxing weekend. i had a face mask and ear mufflers so i didn't suffer.

oh! how did i fail to mention sooner! another bit of mail recently received: fabric! yes! a swap of epic proportions with the wonderful katey! yay! she sent me a quantity of excellent fabric. excellent i say. i don't know what to make first. i see a pillow in the works. a shoulder bag. maybe some soft toys. tra-la!

i believe i will have to put together some exciting mail of my own and send it to nice people near and far. sweet!

i'm taking the baton...

Total volume of music files on my computer(s):
um...i'm not sure. about 700 songs i think. i don't know how much space that occupies. not much i guess.

The last CD i bought was:
bjork's medulla. gosh i'm lazy. i just leave that ugly o in her name rather than break out the character map and add the umlaut. now she rhymes with pork or dork instead of work.

Song playing right now:
more than this--roxy music.

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:
i already answered this on gaw's blog so i'll try and switch things up here. hmm. well, most belle and sebastian songs i listen to with frequency. for some reason spring/summer has me playing "i'm a cuckoo" and "if she wants me." i also quite enjoy "there's too much love" "summer wasting" "mary jo." okay. yeah. pretty much any belle and sebastian. "judy and the dream of horses."

apart from b&s i like (and i'll number them):

1) birthday--sugarcubes. it brings back good memories. plus bjork had her screechier voice at that time. i liked the screechiness. i'm glad she can do other things with her voice. but dang it sometimes i miss the screech.

2) the lonely little thrift store-- jonathon richman. i just love me some jo-jo.

3) honeysuckle suite-- rachel's. because because because.

4) any song from the shins album "chutes too narrow." yes i'm vaguey mcgee.

5) si tu disais--francoiz breut.